Break time.

I hate to do this; I really do. But I need to take a little break from this blog. At least for the next couple of weeks while I get acclimated to my new job. I kid you not, I made a to-do list yesterday and literally said to myself, “Oh shit.” And that reminded me of Bridesmaids which made me want to watch it and drink wine, but I couldn’t because I felt like I had to get everything done right then. Writing is really starting to stress me out more than allow me to do something I enjoy and that helps my career. See ya someday soon! <3

A very serious question.

Do you like popsicles or ice cream better in the summer? I truly can’t decide. I bring this up, because I had both yesterday and both were equally as wonderful and I am just wondering if anyone has something important to say on this topic.

Although I do want to really know what you think about that, my real question is actually somewhat applicable to something that matters in life. Would you rather be busy or have a bunch of free time? I have had the serious luxury of being able to make and adjust my own schedule for the past year, and I am just now going back into a corporate environment and not having that choice anymore. It’s definitely a huge adjustment to not make those kinds of decisions for myself anymore, but it’s one less thing I need to plan out, which is absolutely a plus. I get so stressed out trying to coordinate everything, so I am actually beyond relieved to have someone else do it for me. And to think that I wanted to be a wedding planner in college. Hilarious.

During this week alone, 5 different things came up that I hadn’t been planning on. Although at first I kind of freaked out and probably still am a little bit without even realizing it, I’m loving the fact that I don’t have a choice and my schedule just is what it is. I am the worst decision-maker in the whole world, and it is nice to be able to use work as an excuse now instead of knowing that I have the power to move things around. Even though this new job will definitely cut into my precious reality TV watching time, I think I can deal as long as TiVo is around. I don’t think I mentioned this, but I am working at a hugely popular fitness club chain and obviously have a membership there now, so it will be super easy to workout myself before I work. I also live close enough that I can run there and shower in the locker rooms before my shift, which makes me smile so big just thinking about it. Weird that running makes me smile. That scares me half to death.

On the other hand, I do not do well when I don’t have more than enough time to workout, clean, blog, respond to e-mails, watch my shows, and all those other unnecessary, but important to me, things. I know there are much bigger things to worry about and that these are all things that do not need to be done immediately and in the super quick fashion that I do them, but I get really overwhelmed if I am ever behind on something. I know I need to remember that I am cutting down time on other jobs I have been doing for a regular basis during the past year, but that just hasn’t set in yet. Am I crazy? Probably. I know I just need to get used to this new schedule,  but I am probably going to be a hot mess during the next month or so.

With that being said, if this blog gets pushed to the side or if my posts are just off the wall ridiculous, please forgive me. I’m just trying not to lose my mind with all that I have going on right now. I am super excited to start this new job and hopefully make it a career and I can be done with this whole “finding myself” thing. Although let’s be real, I have tried anything and everything (job-wise) during the past 7 years and fitness is the only thing that I have actually enjoyed and wanted to excel in. So I think I’m pretty much stuck here, whether I like it or not. And I am very lucky, because I love it. So fingers crossed this all goes well!

What’s your job? Do you like it? And I really hope you say yes, because if you say no that is going to make me very sad :(

The Bachelorette, Week 3

Thanks to Carly for this. Typical that I forgot about it during the episode though, because that requires effort on my part and I have had 0% of motivation the last few days.

This show gets more and more stupid every single week,  yet I will never, ever stop watching it. It literally disgusts me, but I just can’t give it up. This was absolutely the worst episode to date. Ever. Just some things to keep in mind that will undoubtedly make you feel better about yourself if you ever need a confidence boost.

  • “I like seeing guys in their natural state.” Are we referring to men as animals now? That’s nice.
  • I absolutely cannot stand how whiny and cry baby-ish this group of guys is. How on earth would one think a woman is going to be attracted to you by acting like more of a girl than she is?
  • If you tell a girl you were arrested for domestic violence on your second date, I don’t think there’s a huge chance she’s ever going to want to marry you. Even if it’s only for 5 minutes or so. Just saying.
  • A “man” who breaks his finger and cries and asks his girl to hold his hand and acts like he is dying of an incurable disease when he is RUSHED TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM would be off my show before he could even get to the hospital. Bye.
  • Don’t tell somebody about your day if they didn’t ask or you don’t have something exciting to say.
  • Don’t let your new girlfriend get friendly with your old girlfriend. That is a recipe for an absolute disaster if I have ever heard one.
  • Who goes on a date dancing on the side of a building? I would cry and ask to go out for drinks instead.
  • Being with more than one person is SO frowned upon in our society,  yet this woman can date 20 men and hold all their hands and kiss all of them and we are all about it. I do not understand.
  • “Did you know that I tried to kiss you today?” That’s the worst pick-up line in the history of pick-up lines I think.
  • If for some reason in real life a woman ever gives a man a rose, the appropriate response is not to give her a daisy in return. I don’t know what the appropriate response is, but that isn’t it.
  • “It’s called The Bachelorette for a reason. It’s not called let’s make friends.” But maybe it just should be. How funny would that be if it was a show about all these guys trying to be friends with each other? So much awkwardness would be involved and I would be so happy about it.
  • You are not in love with someone on your second date when they are seeing 20 other people.
  • Does anyone else say it along with Chris every week when he goes, “Des. Gentlemen. The final rose. When you’re ready.” EVERY WEEK. We can all count. We can all see there is one left. Thanks for the clarification in case anybody was confused.

And then there is Mistresses. I can’t even talk about that show, because this is supposed to be a blog applicable to all ages and that show is certainly not. I am not complaining about that though. Go watch it for yourself.

Bachelorette thoughts. Ready set go.

Happy Monday!

This is a really weird week for me, because it’s the last week before I start training for my new job. So it’s basically the last week where I’m going to have free time for a while. Even though it is going to be no fun to cut down my time with my girls and my current clients, it is going to be wonderful to have a full-time, set schedule. I haven’t had that in a really long time and fingers crossed I am happy with it in a few months and I buy my own place and finally have my own life. Say a little prayer, because if that doesn’t happen soon I may just lose my mind.

I seriously had one of the most un-productive weekends of my whole life, but it was super fun. On Thursday I went to preschool and kindergarten graduations for two of my little girls. My sister had her prom, which was unbelievable. Then I went to a country bar with two of my college roommates and had a super awkward night, but story of my life. Nothing new there.

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Friday I did absolutely nothing except get a facial and go out to dinner with my family for my mom’s birthday. Then I babysat for a while and after that went out and got wine with my best friend from high school.

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Saturday and Sunday I had huge plans to study for my NASM personal training exam and catch up on blog stuff so I’m not overwhelmed with it this week, but that certainly didn’t happen. Instead I went for a couple of long-ish runs, watched a lot of Daily Grace videos, watched Identity Thief, played candy crush and got really mad that I’ve been stuck on level 65 for forever and a day, and laid on the floor and laughed with my sister. What an over-achiever I am.

And now, since I figured this is supposed to be a health and fitness blog and I should probably talk about something along those lines, here is a random survey, because I’m not creative enough to come up with a topic on my own:

  1. Five fitness items I can’t live without: Can’t live without? That’s a little excessive now, isn’t it. I could definitely live without these things, but I do enjoy treadmills, my cute little lime green Target dumbbells, Champion spandex shorts, ponytail holders, and my iPod.
  2. Favorite pre-workout snack/meal: I really can’t eat anything before I exercise. I know that’s like “against the rules” and stuff, but I just don’t care. It makes me feel disgusting. I drink water and that’s about it.
  3. On my fitness bucket list: Even though it is absolutely insane, I would love to run a marathon one day. I would also love to go camping and go on like a legit hike in California or some other cool place. And learning how to scuba dive would be cool, too, but I don’t know if that counts.
  4. Must-have tech tools: I have this watch that I always wear that tracks steps and mileage and all that jazz. It’s about as simple as you can get, but it works for me. I also could never even do one squat if I didn’t have my iPod.
  5. Top exercise gear: Nike cross-trainers, ponytail holders, headbands, and VS sports bras. That’s it. I’m simple. Oh, but I really like the pants I got from Athleta in California, even though they were a million dollars and I will probably never buy anything from that store again.
  6. Motivational mantra: Haha, that is super cheesy. Sorry. Except one time I did pretend like Jillian Michaels was chasing me when I ran my first 5k and kept thinking I was going to just sit down and cry.
  7. Next big exercise goal: I really, really want to do the Tough Mudder in a couple of weeks. I need to decide like, now, though, because it is just getting more expensive by the day. And I also need to start training like crazy if I am really going to do it. The fact that I need to lay on my floor and feel like dying for a half hour after I run 6 miles probably isn’t the best sign.
  8. Favorite cardio exercise: Running. The end.
  9. Favorite strength move: I adore the Tone It Up girls routines. This one is one of my current favorites.

I am so excited for tonight, because I am actually going to be home to watch The Bachelorette and Mistresses on time, in bed, and with my wine. I seriously could not think of a better way to spend my evening.

What was the best thing you did this weekend?

Best memories.

Yesterday I talked about all my favorite things, and today I am going to talk about some of my favorite things that have happened in the past. I don’t know why. Probably because I am watching Ellen and just keep thinking about hugging her and also about how sad I am that I’m not in L.A. right now. Boo.

  • On that note, I think my favorite thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life is getting to talk to Ellen. Gosh, every time I think about it I get as excited as a 2 year old who is given cake. I cannot even handle how much that was the best day of my life. I think I would give up wine if I had the opportunity to work for her. She’s cool though and wouldn’t make me give up wine.

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  • On my 10th birthday, I had a bunch of my friends over my house for a party and we found a litter (is that what it’s called?) of baby bunnies underneath a tree in my yard. Best. Present. Ever. But seriously ugh, omgomgomgomgomgomg. Can someone please get me one of these?

  • When I was in Italy, there was one day where my friend and I did nothing but sit at an outdoor bar and drink and eat delicious food all day. And we did some intense people watching since the Jersey Shore cast was filming right by us. And we met some cool Australians and had a blast.

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  • My friend Audrey and I were in a flash mob in college that the dance department I was a part of put on. And it was hilarious and embarrassing and an absolute blast.

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  • Going to Disneyworld and getting to see my youngest sister so excited to meet all the “real princesses.”

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  • Having nothing to worry about in high school besides hanging out with my friends and doing stupid things that make no sense whatsoever.

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  • Joining my sorority in college.

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  • Going camping with a bunch of work friends for the first time ever and having the time of my life.

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  • Spending long weekends at my grandma’s house up north.

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  • Swimming with sting rays in the Bahamas.

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  • High school spring break in Mexico.

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I could go on for days, but I’m not going to because MY LITTLE SISTER IS GOING TO PROM OMG. Gotta go supervise; HA. Bye.

Your favorite memory?

Cool stuff.

You guys. When I started this blog it was all health and fitness and advice and professional and stuff, and now……..it is this; haha. What happened. Apparently I just like to tell you all the ridiculous things that go through my mind on a daily basis. A while ago I did a post on all of my favorite things, and if I had a little bit more drive and motivation I would probably scroll back and find it, but I don’t. So in case you care and want to be my best friend and provide these things for me, here you go: my best things right now.

  • reality TV

  • my iPhone
  • flip flops
  • Ingrid Michaelson
  • my sisters

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  • my pool

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  • sleep; so much sleep

  • kombucha; yeah judge me, I like it

  • the sun
  • pie
  • bronzer; oops
  • I’m sure Identity Thief will be on this list if I ever see it

  • this lotion

  • the fact that my free Pandora is back
  • VS hot pink shorts that are ridiculous looking but I don’t care

  • sangria
  • nice people

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  • sleeping with my window open
  • popsicles

  • my girls

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This is getting weird. Byeeeeee.

Favorite thing, ready set go.

All over the place.

I am starting to think that the phrase all over the place is the only way to describe my life. I have so many random thoughts in my head that don’t go anywhere but chill there and then I put them in a note in my iPhone and then I forget about that and then I remember when it’s not important anymore and then I freak out and the cycle repeats over and over and over. So here are all the random things I’m thinking right now so maybe I can look back on this post and remember, although there is a 99.9% chance that I never will. Good. Oh, and I really like bullet points. Can you tell?

  • Did anyone watch that new show Mistresses on ABC Monday night? Oh goodness. It’s like Desperate Housewives, only faster and with extremely beautiful people. I am super happy about that. Good job network producers. You knew you had to do something to make up for how terrible The Bachelorette is this season.

  • I want to do this. Help.
  • I am so ridiculously obsessed with Miley Cyrus’ new song. I think I have been playing it non-stop since she released it yesterday. I am praying so bad that this means she is going to go on tour with Demi Lovato and all my dreams are going to come true. She’s single now guys. Not sure what that means, but I’m not mad about it.

  • Speaking of music, on my off 5 minutes from listening to Miley, I have been listening to the Ingrid Michaelson Pandora station and I cannot get enough. I kind of want to be her or invite her over to my house for cereal or something like that. She’s just so darn cool. I wish that I was tech savvy like some of you are and could make one of those cute little pictures with all my favorite songs right now, but I just have no clue how. So, sorry. I could screen-shot my iTunes, but guess what? Don’t know how to do that either! Thumbs up for being a college graduate.

  • I got a legitimate job! I don’t want to say a lot about it, but it’s full-time and I will still be nannying my girls one day a week, so I’m going to be super busy, but it’s all good. I need to grow up one of these days and apparently that day is like, tomorrow. Oh, and it’s a fitness job. Score.
  • I was *thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis* close to going to California this weekend to visit a good friend, but then unfortunately remembered that I am poor and cannot afford a last-minute plane ticket. And now I am very sad. I know I am going to regret it this weekend (not going), but I really just don’t have that kind of money at all. On the bright side, I have not a thing to do this weekend, so hopefully I can be productive for once in my life and catch up on all the little random things I need to do and people I need to see and all that jazz. If anyone has a plane and wants to fly me to LA though, I certainly would not be angry.
  • This is my friend Tara’s YouTube channel. She wants to work for Ellen as much as I do (if not more!), and we went on an adventure the other day. Check it out. So many links in this post! Again, too bad I can’t do anything with technology and actually put the video into the post. Teach me.
  • I’ve been running so much lately. Weeeeeird. I think it’s because I’ve gotten so much random, new music that I love and I just want to listen to it over and over and it’s more socially acceptable to do that while on a run than just laying in bed in the middle of the day for no reason. I might be doing a Tough Mudder in a couple of weeks. Oh goodness. Has anyone ever done it before that can convince me I wouldn’t die?

  • I would give up just about anything in the whole world right now to go back and re-do college. I know I’ve said that before, but it really was the best time of my life and I did not take advantage of everything that I should have. I am lucky that I made some absolutely amazing friends there, but I miss them like crazy and just want to have a reunion in approximately 5 minutes. I don’t know if it helps to talk to them, because that just seems to make me miss people even more. That was a confusing statement if I’ve ever heard one.

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  • These words are about to come out of my mouth and I am totally going to regret them, but I really want to do a juice cleanse again. Why? I have no idea. Told you I can’t make up my mind for more than 5 minutes.

  • It is my wonderful mother’s birthday today! To tell you the truth, I really don’t know how old she is and she would be very angry with me if I posted it on here anyway. She’s a cool lady. I do actually owe her for my life, but also for everything she’s given me over the past (almost) 22 years. No matter how messed up I have been, she’s never given up on me which is way more than I can say for anyone else I’ve ever known. And she sent me a card every week at college, which was super sweet. And she took my crying phone calls numerous times throughout the day and in the middle of the night. And now she lets me live with her and gives me food and doesn’t get (too) mad when my sisters and I act like complete fools. I love her.

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This is random and long enough, so bye. Have a wonderful Wednesday! <3

What should I do this weekend?!

The Happiness Project: June & The Bachelorette

Okay. So. I need to say something super pathetic. I love to read. But I truly haven’t read a book in who knows how long. Probably like a year. Because I just play games on my iPad and my phone and watch cat videos on YouTube. I used to read a book a week; and like a legit book. Reading one darn chapter of The Happiness Project every month is like, a freaking chore for me. That is pathetic. Like, can I not put down my technology for a half hour? Apparently not. I need to put one of those timer lock things on all my devices so it won’t let me play with it for hours on end.

But I did manage to read one chapter yesterday; surprise, surprise. This month Gretchen Rubin talked about working on relationships with friends. I would go up in my room and get the book, but as I’m writing this I’m curled up in a chair about to watch that new ABC show Mistresses, and I’m certainly not about to move.

And truth be told, I really don’t want to talk about that. I swear, I have the attention span of a 5 year old. So I’ll just tell ya’ll about The Bachelorette. Are you surprised? No. So stop reading if you don’t want to know what happened last night.

At the very beginning of the episode last night, Des was all, “I have the best group of guys. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.” Um, NO. Wrong. You do not. Interesting, yes. Interesting is good, but not when you take clothing off without being asked to and cry on a first date talking about your past relationship. Weeeeeird.

But it was super good that they had Andy Grammer on the episode last night. A legit artist for once! Nice work ABC.

Okay, but really. That rap video? Like why. I just noticed how much I say like. Why would she make grown men play dress-up and say cheesy lines to her. I don’t know any normal woman who would want that. Is that some weird new trend I don’t know about? I say weird a lot too, but that is truly the only way to describe this season. I am so mad about how stupid it is.

Here’s another great one. If you want to kiss a girl, don’t tell her that the last time you wanted to kiss her your cowboy hat “might have been in the way” and then proceed to say, “So if you don’t mind now….” If anyone ever asked for permission to kiss me, I would just say no. Straight up no. That is so odd. Am I the only one that thinks that is super weird? But she was all, “YUP!” Gross.

Some people seriously just have way too much confidence in themselves, when they really just shouldn’t. Drives me crazy how grown men go up to each other and try to like, bond over the same girl they’re into. That’s a recipe for disaster. I also feel like if you are a man and you ever go on this show you should probably refrain from crying, because every girl sitting home with her wine watching it will be like this.

The best thing I heard on that episode was, “Well since we’re going on a road trip we should probably get some snacks.” I agree. I also consider a road trip any time I get in my car or anyone else’s car. I swear, I was running on the treadmill and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted grapes. Not quite sure what is wrong with me.

Conclusion. I think guys need to man up on this show and not go along with all the cheesy, girly dates Des and the producers want them to do. Say no. Lose a little bit of the class in the show and make it a little bit more sassy please and thank you. WAIT ONE MORE THING. This guy literally just told her about this terrible car accident he was in and then pulled out pictures to show her!! Could you please beg for attention a little bit more? Thanks.

Tell me if I am the only one who is so grossed out by these things.

Life lessons….

  • Nothing good ever happens after 10 p.m.

  • You should never see how low you can let your gas tank get before refilling it, because you will run out of gas on the side of the road and not think it’s very funny until a long time later.
  • Go to a lot of concerts.

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  • If you’re ever sad, watch Bridesmaids and life will get significantly better.

  • If there is a snow storm coming and you are in college, make sure you at least have all the ingredients to make cookies. Otherwise you will be stuck in your apartment for 3 days with sugar cookies made with water instead of eggs.
  • Don’t try something on in a dressing room that might be too small for you. The attendant will have to come help you take it off, and that’s super embarrassing.

  • People who have accents typically don’t think it’s funny when you try to imitate their voice. Fun fact. Whenever I’ve met people that don’t live from Michigan, they tell me I have an accent. I beg to differ.
  • If you are still in school, you should go to your professor’s office hours. They kind of love you then and usually give you a snack when you go visit.
  • Don’t get on a treadmill right next to someone else if there are other ones open. That is creepy and weird and sets you up for an extremely awkward workout.

  • Starbucks coffee really is the best.

  • Going to Disneyworld is not a vacation. It is a heck of a lot of work.

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  • You should never pet a cat and then rub your eyes.

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  • Watch this every time before you go out.
  • Never get stuck behind a school bus.
  • If you have long hair and you run outside, make sure you always bring an extra hair tie, because if one breaks you have to run with your sweaty hair sticking to your face and your back and you look like a stuck-up fool.
  • Life is awkward. Get used to it.

And now you’re ready to go face the world. Bye.

Give me your best life lesson.

The best ecards ever.

Best Ellen quote ever: “A study found that women speak approximately 20,000 words a day and men speak 7,000. This is because they found a protein that makes women more talkative, and that protein is called chardonnay.” Story of my life. I turn into one of the ladies on The View if you put some wine in me.

Anyway, you obviously know that I am obsessed with ecards, because I post them every day and they describe my life. I should start writing those. I wonder how much that pays.