The Happiness Project: June & The Bachelorette

Okay. So. I need to say something super pathetic. I love to read. But I truly haven’t read a book in who knows how long. Probably like a year. Because I just play games on my iPad and my phone and watch cat videos on YouTube. I used to read a book a week; and like a legit book. Reading one darn chapter of The Happiness Project every month is like, a freaking chore for me. That is pathetic. Like, can I not put down my technology for a half hour? Apparently not. I need to put one of those timer lock things on all my devices so it won’t let me play with it for hours on end.

But I did manage to read one chapter yesterday; surprise, surprise. This month Gretchen Rubin talked about working on relationships with friends. I would go up in my room and get the book, but as I’m writing this I’m curled up in a chair about to watch that new ABC show Mistresses, and I’m certainly not about to move.

And truth be told, I really don’t want to talk about that. I swear, I have the attention span of a 5 year old. So I’ll just tell ya’ll about The Bachelorette. Are you surprised? No. So stop reading if you don’t want to know what happened last night.

At the very beginning of the episode last night, Des was all, “I have the best group of guys. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.” Um, NO. Wrong. You do not. Interesting, yes. Interesting is good, but not when you take clothing off without being asked to and cry on a first date talking about your past relationship. Weeeeeird.

But it was super good that they had Andy Grammer on the episode last night. A legit artist for once! Nice work ABC.

Okay, but really. That rap video? Like why. I just noticed how much I say like. Why would she make grown men play dress-up and say cheesy lines to her. I don’t know any normal woman who would want that. Is that some weird new trend I don’t know about? I say weird a lot too, but that is truly the only way to describe this season. I am so mad about how stupid it is.

Here’s another great one. If you want to kiss a girl, don’t tell her that the last time you wanted to kiss her your cowboy hat “might have been in the way” and then proceed to say, “So if you don’t mind now….” If anyone ever asked for permission to kiss me, I would just say no. Straight up no. That is so odd. Am I the only one that thinks that is super weird? But she was all, “YUP!” Gross.

Some people seriously just have way too much confidence in themselves, when they really just shouldn’t. Drives me crazy how grown men go up to each other and try to like, bond over the same girl they’re into. That’s a recipe for disaster. I also feel like if you are a man and you ever go on this show you should probably refrain from crying, because every girl sitting home with her wine watching it will be like this.

The best thing I heard on that episode was, “Well since we’re going on a road trip we should probably get some snacks.” I agree. I also consider a road trip any time I get in my car or anyone else’s car. I swear, I was running on the treadmill and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted grapes. Not quite sure what is wrong with me.

Conclusion. I think guys need to man up on this show and not go along with all the cheesy, girly dates Des and the producers want them to do. Say no. Lose a little bit of the class in the show and make it a little bit more sassy please and thank you. WAIT ONE MORE THING. This guy literally just told her about this terrible car accident he was in and then pulled out pictures to show her!! Could you please beg for attention a little bit more? Thanks.

Tell me if I am the only one who is so grossed out by these things.

Life lessons….

  • Nothing good ever happens after 10 p.m.

  • You should never see how low you can let your gas tank get before refilling it, because you will run out of gas on the side of the road and not think it’s very funny until a long time later.
  • Go to a lot of concerts.

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  • If you’re ever sad, watch Bridesmaids and life will get significantly better.

  • If there is a snow storm coming and you are in college, make sure you at least have all the ingredients to make cookies. Otherwise you will be stuck in your apartment for 3 days with sugar cookies made with water instead of eggs.
  • Don’t try something on in a dressing room that might be too small for you. The attendant will have to come help you take it off, and that’s super embarrassing.

  • People who have accents typically don’t think it’s funny when you try to imitate their voice. Fun fact. Whenever I’ve met people that don’t live from Michigan, they tell me I have an accent. I beg to differ.
  • If you are still in school, you should go to your professor’s office hours. They kind of love you then and usually give you a snack when you go visit.
  • Don’t get on a treadmill right next to someone else if there are other ones open. That is creepy and weird and sets you up for an extremely awkward workout.

  • Starbucks coffee really is the best.

  • Going to Disneyworld is not a vacation. It is a heck of a lot of work.

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  • You should never pet a cat and then rub your eyes.

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  • Watch this every time before you go out.
  • Never get stuck behind a school bus.
  • If you have long hair and you run outside, make sure you always bring an extra hair tie, because if one breaks you have to run with your sweaty hair sticking to your face and your back and you look like a stuck-up fool.
  • Life is awkward. Get used to it.

And now you’re ready to go face the world. Bye.

Give me your best life lesson.

The best ecards ever.

Best Ellen quote ever: “A study found that women speak approximately 20,000 words a day and men speak 7,000. This is because they found a protein that makes women more talkative, and that protein is called chardonnay.” Story of my life. I turn into one of the ladies on The View if you put some wine in me.

Anyway, you obviously know that I am obsessed with ecards, because I post them every day and they describe my life. I should start writing those. I wonder how much that pays.

How was your weekend?

Lucky for most of us that we don’t work today and get an even longer weekend! I would be good with working approximately 1.3 days a week and just playing the rest; that would be fine. This weekend made me super excited that it’s almost summertime. I mean technically since I have a real person job now and I’m not in school anymore there’s no break like there used to be, but I just think people are happier when the weather is nicer, myself included. These are definitely my favorite summer things:

  • bonfires, which absolutely includes roasting marshmallows and drinking beer
  • going swimming in my pool, which means laying on a raft and taking a nap
  • riding bikes and walking instead of driving
  • going on little mini trips to cute beach-y towns
  • being able to sleep with my window open
  • eating dinner outside
  • going barefoot; I really, really hate shoes
  • going out for ice cream
  • watermelon.

Now if only Michigan would cooperate and stop having freeze warnings at night.

I did so many random things this weekend, so here’s all my professionally taken photographs for your enjoyment.

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This delicious thing from my favorite Starbucks girl ever. She’s super cute. It’s something called a lime refresher or something like that and it is wonderful. Only vodka could make it better. But when you are trying on approximately 462 bathing suits at Victoria’s Secret, you may need 5 of these drinks because I drink them in 2.2 sips. That was a lot of numbers right there; wow.

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All my new purchases! I think in that pile there’s a bunch of body lotion stuff from Lush, clothes from Forever 21, bikini and dress from Victoria’s Secret, Bath and Body Works candles, and probably other random things that I already forgot about and obviously don’t need.

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I had this delicious sake that tastes like champagne and flowers and sunshine. And some wine. Whoops.

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I also tried sushi for the first time. It had asparagus, avocado, and cucumber. It was good, but nothing I could eat a lot of. It’s really good dipped in their fancy sauces. I thought it would be good dipped in ranch, but apparently hibachi houses don’t carry that. Rude.

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And then since I am a crazy, old cat lady at the ripe age of 21, here’s a picture of my cat laying on my dress. Fascinating, yeah?

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SELFIE. Oh my goodness, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

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Put this together and started to plan stuff for my next fitness challenge. Now I just need to concentrate a little bit and actually put some of my ideas on paper. “GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER CAROL.” Major points for you if you can tell me what movie that quote is from.

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I went to a farmer’s market with momma, and we got these phenomenal little puffs of heaven. Actually they’re scones. And one is cinnamon chip and one is raspberry white chocolate I think, but who care because THEY ARE SO GOOD. That’s all.

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I think I listened to the song Boys Round Here by Blake Shelton about a million times over the past 3 days.

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My little sister’s friend did my hair SO cute. My hair is either curly and wild or straight as a board in a ponytail, so this is big for me. I want her to come over every morning and make my hair look super cute.

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Being a completely typical girl and taking a picture before I go out. Don’t judge me. Actually you can. I already judged myself a long time for this.

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And when I got home at 2:30 in the morning, this is what was waiting on my bed to greet me. She literally just sits there like a human and waits for me to get home. It’s quite adorable.

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My super cute friend with really good hair and I in our matching leather jackets (:

And I really just wanted to share this with you because it is hilarious.

Send me your favorite YouTube video!

My own fitness rules.

So am I right or am I right that there are a million different diet tricks and fitness tips and goal-setting techniques and exercises out there? I honestly can’t keep track. A huge part of my job is to remain current on trends in the health industry, but it is honestly so hard. Instead of telling my clients what other people believe and what is going on in the big corporations, I decided to make a set of my fitness “rules.” Don’t judge me. I swear I’m certified to preach this stuff Smile with tongue out

  1. Drink 100 oz. of water a day. It might seem like a lot, but it is more than possible. Get a 24 oz. water bottle and refill it up 4 times.
  2. Stretch for at least 10 minutes every single day. It will help you from being sore and keep your muscles long and lean. It also just helps you feel fabulous. Too bad guys are typically “too cool” for this.
  3. Set a goal for yourself, no matter how big or how small. Typically I try to say on Sunday how many miles I want to run that week or even just set up my schedule for the week to keep myself on track. Goals help you to have something to work towards and help to keep you motivated when you feel like stopping.
  4. Take a big breath and think before you eat something. Stopping for even 5 seconds and letting a couple thoughts run through your mind about whether or not you are truly hungry will immensely help in stopping you from over-eating.
  5. Make a really good playlist. I swear, good music makes a huge difference in your workout. When I was up north, I of course looked forward to the beautiful scenery I got to run in, but also the new playlist I had made a few days prior.
  6. Invest in a trainer or find one online for at least a few sessions. It is really important to know how to execute movements the correct way in order to avoid injury. It is also nice to have someone to show you the ropes the first time so you don’t have to mess around with machines and weights and look silly.
  7. Find out what time of day works best for you and roll with that. There is no “perfect” time of day to exercise. Different things work for different people, and there is no right or wrong. Typically I stretch and do some toning for 20 minutes in the morning and do my cardio later in the evening. And some random strength training interspersed throughout the day whenever I can. I used to think that if I sweat a drop I had to take a shower, but now I am so over that.
  8. Don’t be embarrassed. I spent too long caring what my family and friends thought about my healthy lifestyle, but that is just silly. There’s no reason you need to be ashamed about getting up early to go for a run or for asking for your salad dressing on the side.
  9. Stay busy. I have found that when you are bored is when you turn back on what you really want. Let’s be real. If you have nothing to do but sit in a house full of food, what are you likely to do? Make your schedule accordingly to serve you the best. You know what works best for your own body.
  10. Love what you do. If you’re not happy with what you’re doing, you will give up. You should never feel like you have to exercise. Make it part of your lifestyle and it will become second-nature.

This stuff is so simple, but when I went to see Jillian Michaels the other night I realized how un-educated so many people are on how to take care of themselves. I think the more that health and fitness professionals emphasize the simplicity of fitness and nutrition, the more people will jump on board with it. Why complicate things?

I also try to emphasize to my clients to not take themselves too seriously. I really hate when people think they need to do things exactly one way all the time; that is no way to live your life. You need to keep your options open and be ready for whatever comes your way. I have learned in the past to not be so quick to make a decision, in fitness and in life. I want my clients to try a bunch of different things in order to find what works for their particular body and what they actually enjoy. I always try to have personal conversation during our sessions, because who wants to talk about weight-lifting and cardio for an hour? Not me. And doesn’t everyone want to kick back and have a drink once in a while (or every day)? I do.

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Taking care of yourself should be fun. Not a chore. My goal is to help people love their bodies and themselves so they can in turn spread that love into the world <3

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The up north life.

Well, my dream is still to go work for Ellen, but I certainly would not be mad about living in northern Michigan for the rest of my life. It was so hard for us to go home yesterday….to go back to the traffic and work and the loudness. It’s no good! We are already planning a trip back there in July. Maybe I should just live with my parents forever and go on vacation once a month. Just kidding; kind of.

But honestly, people up north are just nice. When you go out in the itty bitty town, everybody knows everybody and is asking about their kids and how their weekend was and all that jazz. Where I live, I know that I am constantly trying to avoid talking to most people I know because it is awkward and I don’t want to deal with the conversation.

Up north, people just show up at other people’s houses and don’t need to text their location and what they’re doing every 5 seconds. Technology takes a backseat to being outside. I went for a run every single morning and passed multiple people that said hi and asked how my day was going. One older guy even asked if he could run with me! Relationships are more important than iPhone’s, which is such a great change of pace.

It is quiet at night up north. Last night my friend and I were in bed and heard a car at like 11:30 p.m. at night, and that was out of the ordinary. Typically it is silent and pitch black at night, which is so relaxing and comforting. When I am trying to sleep at home, I hear people yelling outside of my window and am constantly woken up by the headlights of cars driving by.

There are a ton of elderly people up north! Do you know how interesting it is to sit down with an 85 year old woman and hear stories about her life? A hell of a lot more fascinating that hearing about Justin Bieber’s haircut or the latest person voted off American Idol. Now you all know how much I love my celebrity gossip and reality TV, so it must really mean something if I am saying this!

Of course I love my family and where I’ve grown up, but now I know even more than ever that I need to get out of this area and experience more in my life. Sorry for the rant! Back to normal tomorrow…maybe Smile <3

Welcome to my life.

Not that you all probably care about my super fascinating, exciting (note the sarcasm) life, but I figured I would share some pictures that describe me pretty perfectly right now.

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Story of my life. I know it’s mean, but there are just some people that you are like, “Nope.”

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I very rarely paint my nails, just because it gets chipped in 3 seconds, but if I did, this is the color they would constantly be.

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If anyone can tell me where to find these shoes, I will be forever in debt to you. I may even buy you a pair in thanks.

Doing yoga. Lots and lots of yoga. Except I don’t look like that. I look more like an awkward cat.

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Eating as many veggie bowls from Chipotle as humanly possible.

Watching this video. Oh my goodness gracious. Get ready to pee your pants.

Playing Candy Crush. WHY DID NOBODY WARN ME NOT TO GET THIS?!

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Re-living this moment over and over. Today my mom told me I need to differentiate the fine line between persistence and annoyance. From here on out, I am vowing to be the most persistent person ever that wants to get a job with Ellen, and if I’m being annoying please come over and slap me. Would re-enacting that video from above be awesome or creepy? Awesome I hope, since now that the idea has popped in my head it’s all I basically want to do with my life.

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Wearing the coolest shirt in the whole freaking world that my awesome friend Tara made for me. She has one, too. They say “I want to work for Ellen.” YES YES YES.

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Hanging out with my girls and getting really excited when they will wear matching outfits. I wish it was acceptable to match my friends. That would be cool.

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Eating delicious food. This is muesli from Costco (the holy land in my opinion) with banana. Uh, yum. I basically want to live in California because they have delicious, healthy food like this everyone. And wine. They have great wine.

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Chilling with my sassy cat who gets really pissed when I stop petting her.

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Watching a lot of Ellen and wondering where I can get that wine purse.

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Finding this awesome frog outside and getting more excited than the kids.

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Rocking my Ellen sunglasses and being really awkward taking pictures on the way to work with my giant forehead.

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Loving this picture and this day!

Sorry my posts have been a little random and all over the place lately. I have been super busy this week, but all that will slow down because I have 2 weeks off nannying now! Still working at the gym, but I get a little vacation up north which is very exciting. See ya’ll tomorrow!

What’s going on in your life right now?

Spice Up Your Life, Week 5

Last week I talked about conquering a fear. I was planning on running 6 miles without stopping. Did that happen? No. No way. Instead I ran 3 miles twice with a break in the middle for about 10 minutes of strength training. So I suppose I didn’t exactly succeed with that one, but I certainly pushed myself out of my comfort zone and did something I was terrified of. I really dislike running, but I want to love it. I don’t want to look like a dying animal after 2 miles anymore. I actually quite enjoy it outside, but don’t live in an area where it’s easy to do that. Frustration up the max.

I did have something really scary happen this week that I got through, so thank goodness for that. I tend to get myself worked up over things for nothing; definitely need to work on that!

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Goal for this week:

53. Tell Someone to Screw Off.

Well that’s not very nice, now is it?! I do think it’s essential once in a while (okay, at least once a day) though. I guess what I think ya’ll should do this week is to do what YOU want. Not what you think you should or what others think you should, but what you feel deep down in your heart is right for you in that moment. We get too caught up in “society” and the norms that we forget about what is really important to us.

So I challenge you to say no. I have a huge problem with that, so this week is gonna be difficult for me. Any time anyone tries to make plans with me, I say yes. I make time. I make time for anything and everything and leave no time for myself. So if someone asks me to go to coffee and all I really want is to stay home and watch the season finale of The Bachelor? No. If I’m asked to babysit and I already had plans that I don’t want to cancel? No. If I’m “supposed” to run my errands, get my cleaning done, and play catch-up and all I really want is to take a nap? No. I’m exhausting myself and I know it.

We need to all work on not being so nice! I know that sounds terrible, but it’s true. I have been listening to the Jillian Michaels podcasts continuously since I discovered them. She stresses in every single one to find the underlying problem that is causing you discomfort or unhappiness and get rid of it. Nip the problem in the source and fix it right there, rather than trying to take baby steps to figure out what’s bugging you. No. You know what the issues is. We usually just don’t want to admit it. She stresses to want to change. You have to have a reason for what you’re doing (or not doing) to succeed. I swear, I am in love with that woman. She’s brilliant. She says stuff we all already know, but never think of in a moment of conflict.

Okay, so this has turned into a total rant. Oops. Back to the challenge: telling someone no. Here’s what I’m going to do this week:

  • not making conversation just for the sake of making conversation and ending up being really awkward
  • no commitments other than what is already on my calendar for the week
  • giving myself 2 full hours to call potential PT clients
  • spending at least one night with Luke with no technology

I need to learn to say no in like, every aspect of my life. I feel like a child!

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On a random note, I got the Whole Foods salad bar TWICE this week. I am so darn happy about that lil fact right there. However, my wallet is not. Oh well. I want to live inside Whole Foods and people watch and drink their wine all day long please.

On another random note, I had a lemon Chobani for the first time yesterday. My new favorite flavor, by far. Even better when you add banana, berries, and roasted flaxseed. Yum yum yum.

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On an even more random note, this is totally me this week.

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Kay bye! <3

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Are you going to tell someone no this week?!

Take a Glimpse Into My Life

Happy Valentine’s Day! <3 Share some love today.

 

Like many of you, I am obsessed with Pinterest. Not as much as I used to be, but I definitely have a plethora of pins (most unused) on my account. I thought it would be a good idea this morning to show you all some of my favorite things I’ve found via the internet. Heck, maybe I’ll put them to use one day!

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That’s a baby sloth. Just let that sink in for a minute. If that doesn’t melt your heart, I don’t know what will.

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This man. I love him.

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Don’t judge me. I think this looks awesome.

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My life.

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Every single day.

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Come ON. A finger monkey?! Luke, this is what I want for Valentine’s Day.

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I actually did my nails like this after I saw this picture. I was so proud.

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I will most definitely be making glittery stairs in my future home.

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My favorite place I’ve ever been in the whole wide world: Cinque Terre, Italy.

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Am I the only one that’s super sad Gossip Girl is over? Sad smile

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The perfect definition. Oh Snapple caps; you are so wise.

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I sometimes get physically angry when I have a voicemail.

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Brooke, you’ll appreciate this one.

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I really need a job where I work from home.

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Salted caramel mocha cookies. Enough said.

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How cute are these?! Popsicles made with just sprite and gummy bears. Totally making them with the kiddies next week.

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This will be my wedding dress.

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Homemade Panera mac n cheese. Yes please.

 

I could go on for days. Stop me now.

 

Here’s my day today:

8:00 am: work jazzercise

8:30-9:30 am: jazzercise class

11:00 am-12:00 pm: train new client

12:00-4:00 pm: work at gym

4:00-5:00pm: train client

5:30pm: Valentine’s Day surprise with Luke!

 

5:30 needs to get here, like now.

 

Any big plans for Valentine’s Day? I almost hope Luke’s big plans are to sit at home watching reality TV in our sweatpants and drinking wine. Just kidding….kinda.

Let’s Count All the Ways

Well, today was definitely a Monday. I think that everything that could possibly go wrong did. However, I want to keep this blog a positive place so I’ll spare you guys all the details, but let’s just say that I am not a happy camper tonight. I just finished up a 5 mile run at the gym and am planning on doing absolutely nothing but watching reality TV and drinking wine tonight. I think that’s about all I can handle. I have a headache just thinking about today, gross. I gotta stop and tune into The Bachelor to stop my complaining and remind myself that people have it way worse than I do.

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What’s even more frustrating to me than my bad day is that I really do nothing to change it. There’s numerous controllable factors throughout my day that I can alter however I want, but I choose to be lazy and ignore them. Then I have to deal with the consequences later (now). What is wrong with me? Why don’t I put in a little extra effort in the moment to avoid a big fallout later? Who knows. I’ll probably never know the answer to that question.

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These e-cards just know me, I swear.

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Okay, that’s enough. Sorry this post was depressing. Hope you got a kick out of those e-cards like I did!

 

Tell me something happy about your day Smile