A very serious question.

Do you like popsicles or ice cream better in the summer? I truly can’t decide. I bring this up, because I had both yesterday and both were equally as wonderful and I am just wondering if anyone has something important to say on this topic.

Although I do want to really know what you think about that, my real question is actually somewhat applicable to something that matters in life. Would you rather be busy or have a bunch of free time? I have had the serious luxury of being able to make and adjust my own schedule for the past year, and I am just now going back into a corporate environment and not having that choice anymore. It’s definitely a huge adjustment to not make those kinds of decisions for myself anymore, but it’s one less thing I need to plan out, which is absolutely a plus. I get so stressed out trying to coordinate everything, so I am actually beyond relieved to have someone else do it for me. And to think that I wanted to be a wedding planner in college. Hilarious.

During this week alone, 5 different things came up that I hadn’t been planning on. Although at first I kind of freaked out and probably still am a little bit without even realizing it, I’m loving the fact that I don’t have a choice and my schedule just is what it is. I am the worst decision-maker in the whole world, and it is nice to be able to use work as an excuse now instead of knowing that I have the power to move things around. Even though this new job will definitely cut into my precious reality TV watching time, I think I can deal as long as TiVo is around. I don’t think I mentioned this, but I am working at a hugely popular fitness club chain and obviously have a membership there now, so it will be super easy to workout myself before I work. I also live close enough that I can run there and shower in the locker rooms before my shift, which makes me smile so big just thinking about it. Weird that running makes me smile. That scares me half to death.

On the other hand, I do not do well when I don’t have more than enough time to workout, clean, blog, respond to e-mails, watch my shows, and all those other unnecessary, but important to me, things. I know there are much bigger things to worry about and that these are all things that do not need to be done immediately and in the super quick fashion that I do them, but I get really overwhelmed if I am ever behind on something. I know I need to remember that I am cutting down time on other jobs I have been doing for a regular basis during the past year, but that just hasn’t set in yet. Am I crazy? Probably. I know I just need to get used to this new schedule,  but I am probably going to be a hot mess during the next month or so.

With that being said, if this blog gets pushed to the side or if my posts are just off the wall ridiculous, please forgive me. I’m just trying not to lose my mind with all that I have going on right now. I am super excited to start this new job and hopefully make it a career and I can be done with this whole “finding myself” thing. Although let’s be real, I have tried anything and everything (job-wise) during the past 7 years and fitness is the only thing that I have actually enjoyed and wanted to excel in. So I think I’m pretty much stuck here, whether I like it or not. And I am very lucky, because I love it. So fingers crossed this all goes well!

What’s your job? Do you like it? And I really hope you say yes, because if you say no that is going to make me very sad :(

All over the place.

I am starting to think that the phrase all over the place is the only way to describe my life. I have so many random thoughts in my head that don’t go anywhere but chill there and then I put them in a note in my iPhone and then I forget about that and then I remember when it’s not important anymore and then I freak out and the cycle repeats over and over and over. So here are all the random things I’m thinking right now so maybe I can look back on this post and remember, although there is a 99.9% chance that I never will. Good. Oh, and I really like bullet points. Can you tell?

  • Did anyone watch that new show Mistresses on ABC Monday night? Oh goodness. It’s like Desperate Housewives, only faster and with extremely beautiful people. I am super happy about that. Good job network producers. You knew you had to do something to make up for how terrible The Bachelorette is this season.

  • I want to do this. Help.
  • I am so ridiculously obsessed with Miley Cyrus’ new song. I think I have been playing it non-stop since she released it yesterday. I am praying so bad that this means she is going to go on tour with Demi Lovato and all my dreams are going to come true. She’s single now guys. Not sure what that means, but I’m not mad about it.

  • Speaking of music, on my off 5 minutes from listening to Miley, I have been listening to the Ingrid Michaelson Pandora station and I cannot get enough. I kind of want to be her or invite her over to my house for cereal or something like that. She’s just so darn cool. I wish that I was tech savvy like some of you are and could make one of those cute little pictures with all my favorite songs right now, but I just have no clue how. So, sorry. I could screen-shot my iTunes, but guess what? Don’t know how to do that either! Thumbs up for being a college graduate.

  • I got a legitimate job! I don’t want to say a lot about it, but it’s full-time and I will still be nannying my girls one day a week, so I’m going to be super busy, but it’s all good. I need to grow up one of these days and apparently that day is like, tomorrow. Oh, and it’s a fitness job. Score.
  • I was *thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis* close to going to California this weekend to visit a good friend, but then unfortunately remembered that I am poor and cannot afford a last-minute plane ticket. And now I am very sad. I know I am going to regret it this weekend (not going), but I really just don’t have that kind of money at all. On the bright side, I have not a thing to do this weekend, so hopefully I can be productive for once in my life and catch up on all the little random things I need to do and people I need to see and all that jazz. If anyone has a plane and wants to fly me to LA though, I certainly would not be angry.
  • This is my friend Tara’s YouTube channel. She wants to work for Ellen as much as I do (if not more!), and we went on an adventure the other day. Check it out. So many links in this post! Again, too bad I can’t do anything with technology and actually put the video into the post. Teach me.
  • I’ve been running so much lately. Weeeeeird. I think it’s because I’ve gotten so much random, new music that I love and I just want to listen to it over and over and it’s more socially acceptable to do that while on a run than just laying in bed in the middle of the day for no reason. I might be doing a Tough Mudder in a couple of weeks. Oh goodness. Has anyone ever done it before that can convince me I wouldn’t die?

  • I would give up just about anything in the whole world right now to go back and re-do college. I know I’ve said that before, but it really was the best time of my life and I did not take advantage of everything that I should have. I am lucky that I made some absolutely amazing friends there, but I miss them like crazy and just want to have a reunion in approximately 5 minutes. I don’t know if it helps to talk to them, because that just seems to make me miss people even more. That was a confusing statement if I’ve ever heard one.

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  • These words are about to come out of my mouth and I am totally going to regret them, but I really want to do a juice cleanse again. Why? I have no idea. Told you I can’t make up my mind for more than 5 minutes.

  • It is my wonderful mother’s birthday today! To tell you the truth, I really don’t know how old she is and she would be very angry with me if I posted it on here anyway. She’s a cool lady. I do actually owe her for my life, but also for everything she’s given me over the past (almost) 22 years. No matter how messed up I have been, she’s never given up on me which is way more than I can say for anyone else I’ve ever known. And she sent me a card every week at college, which was super sweet. And she took my crying phone calls numerous times throughout the day and in the middle of the night. And now she lets me live with her and gives me food and doesn’t get (too) mad when my sisters and I act like complete fools. I love her.

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This is random and long enough, so bye. Have a wonderful Wednesday! <3

What should I do this weekend?!

Things I learned since graduating college.

  • You will have a million different jobs in your lifetime, and you will probably hate all of them in one way or another until you find what’s perfect for you. You haven’t found your ideal career path until you are excited to get up each and every day and go to “work.” Except it won’t be like work since it is your passion and your life.

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  • It’s okay to not be busy all the time. You worked your ass off for 16 years throughout elementary school, high school, and college. It will be interesting to watch TV at night without having homework or studying to accompany it, but that’s okay. You’ll get used to it. You’ll turn to looking up pictures of cats online instead.

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  • You will meet a lot of people you don’t like, but have to get along with anyway. You’re going to have to learn to be patient and take a breath so you don’t flip out at all the ignorance in the real world. But then over time you’ll realize that everyone is different and you should just be nice and that is that.

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  • Even if you move home after graduation, you are not the same person you were in high school. You will see things in a different light and think of all the high-schoolers as children. It is weird to look at your hometown through different eyes, but not necessarily bad weird. Just different.

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  • You will have a really tough time learning how to balance work and your personal life. Maybe you will make it work, and maybe you won’t. Maybe you will lose some friends, and maybe you will make new ones. You will do a lot of thinking about what you really want in life and that will eliminate a lot of people from your life that aren’t on the same page as you.

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  • You will be really confused. Like, all the time.

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  • You will change your mind every 3 seconds on average.

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  • You will feel like you should grow up and get married and have kids and the end, but then you will realize that you just want to play for a few more years and enjoy the simplicity while you still can.

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  • Vacations will be your best friend.

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  • It is okay if you start to watch the news and drink black coffee and listen to podcasts and go to bed by 9 p.m. It just means that you’re becoming a boring adult. No big deal.

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  • You will cringe whenever you see someone on Facebook post about finals or studying. Your heart will break for them, because you know how bad it sucks.

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Okay, so maybe these are just things that apply to me, but I can’t be the only person that feels this way!

What is something you have learned since graduating college?

Seeing something else.

Have you guys ever been somewhere other than where you live and been really sad to leave and go back home? Sure, I’ve had that feeling with beautiful vacations to the Caribbean, but typically I am excited to get back home and to my normal life. But that’s exactly what my life has become: normal. I am beyond bored with it and feel like I have so much more potential and capabilities than what I am currently using. It is the same thing, day after day, and I am not accomplishing anything productive in terms of pursuing a REAL life for myself. I adore the girls I nanny  more than words can describe. Training clients gives me joy. But I need more. I need to be happy in my personal life, not just in my professional life.

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Traveling to California made me realize how much more is out there in the world for me to experience. I have always lived in Michigan; this is all I know. I have an amazing family, job, friends, and everything else here, but it’s just not enough for me right now. Ever since I was young I have thought California was the place for me, and ever since I started watching Ellen it has been a dream of mine to work for her. So who says my dreams can’t come true? It happens for people every single day, and I know if I really put my mind to it I can make it happen for myself as well.

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Here’s the reasons I want to live in southern California:

  • warm, mild weather
  • emphasis on health and fitness
  • beach nearby
  • entertainment industry
  • things to do other than sit on the couch and watch TV
  • ability to walk a lot of places
  • people are very accepting of those with differences (or at least seem to be!)
  • opportunities everywhere

Here’s the reasons I want to work at The Ellen DeGeneres Show:

  • I have been to the show twice, and it is truly the happiest place I have ever been. I have not smiled so much in my entire life as I did in those two hours.
  • Ellen is the kindest, most generous person I know. She makes it her mission every day to help people and make them smile, and I cannot think of a better person to work with and learn from.
  • Her staff is just phenomenal! I could be a mini-Jeannie or even her assistant!
  • I would be so honored to have the opportunity to learn so much from such an experienced team. I want to work for a company (and for people) that have great values and focus on spreading love in the world.
  • It is just freaking fun. People are always smiling (except me when I cry, but I swear I would be able to hold it together) and laughing and just straight up loving life.
  • Ellen gives cocktails to her guests.
  • Everyone really seems to like each other, which is rare in a workplace.
  • She has such a beautiful relationship with Portia and has a ton of life experience to teach young, dumb people like me about.
  • I just love Ellen and feel like we would be friends if I could not be so damn emotional the one opportunity I get. The end.

I could go on about this topic for days, but I don’t want to bore you guys. The main point is that I am going to dedicate myself to getting a job at the Ellen show. I am going to start researching places to live in California for if my dream becomes a reality and really watching the money I spend so I can be prepared if I am offered the opportunity. I would be such a hard, dedicated worker and want to prove that to her! I know this is kind of out there, but it is extremely important to me that I am happy and do something meaningful with my life. Ellen can help me do that, and in turn I can help her and repay her for being so kind and wonderful to me and everyone else throughout her whole life. I want to help others and make their lives happy beyond belief, mine included. <3

What is your dream job?

The best day of my life. Ever.

I’m not even going to beat around the bush and make you wait until the end of the post. This happened:

I still do not believe it’s real. Ellen is the biggest idol and mentor I have ever had in my life, and the fact that she now at least knows my name blows my mind. I have so much more to say about this, but now I’m going to make you wait until the end to hear about that. Smile

Let’s start out with the beginning of the day on Wednesday (the day we left for L.A.)……

There was a huge thunderstorm in Michigan the night before our plane was scheduled to take off at 6:15 a.m. Denver airport was closed due to that snowstorm, and it’s safe to say I was freaking out because we had a layover in Denver. Can you imagine my level of freak-out when it was 3:00 a.m. in the morning and I got an e-mail saying our flight was delayed? And then can you imagine how much I wanted to kiss the flight attendant when we got to the airport and he said there was no more delay? After that little issue, our travel went totally smooth. There was also a really cool dude sitting next to me on the plane who was traveling the world. I totally envy how “go with the flow” he was. I was nervous about not getting to Ellen 2 hours early. Goodness, I need to get my priorities in order! So instead of being nervous, I put Senorita by Justin Timberlake on repeat on my iPod, because how can that not make you smile?

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We were in L.A. by 10:00 a.m. (with the time difference), had our rental car by 11:00, and were at the hotel changing our clothes and getting ready immediately after. We had to be at Warner Bros. Studios by 2:00 p.m. for the taping of Ellen, but of course I insisted on getting there by 12:30. Good thing, because the taping had been moved up and we were supposed to be there by 1:00! Bad news, because we were starving and only had a half hour to eat. The nice, lovely man at Warner Bros. told us about a great Italian place across the street from the studio, so we literally ran there and ordered some food and by food I mean gin. I suppose I inhaled a little bit of margherita pizza, too, but I was beyond nervous so I needed a drink!

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Then the fun began. We got back to the check-in station for Ellen and all walked into the studio together. If you watch the show (which you freaking should if you don’t), you know about the “riff-raff” room, which is where all the people who had “stand-by tickets” get to watch the show if they aren’t able to get an actual seat in the audience. This is also where the Ellen shop is! I got some awesome striped socks, Ellen underwear for myself and all my sisters, and sunglasses. Score.

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After that the cute little blonde Ellen worker (who’s job I want) took us into the studio, and I literally just broke down sobbing. I don’t think I was ever happier in my entire life, and I just couldn’t help it! We tried to take a couple pictures and talk to the people around us, but I was just so hysterical that I couldn’t calm down. About 20 minutes before the show started, they began to play music so everyone could dance and sing and all that jazz, which was an absolute blast. I was doing okay, but then the Ellen theme song started and I died. I was literally convulsing and sobbing and just wanting to run up there and hug her, but I didn’t do that because I’m not that creepy. However, apparently she saw how hysterical I was and decided to make my life by coming up and giving me a hug. I cannot even express in words how happy I was. You can actually ask Luke, because that’s all I have talked about since it happened.

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It has always been my dream to work for Ellen. I have been watching her show since it started and she continues to make me laugh day after day, even if things are bad and I just want to cry. I cannot think of any better way to repay her for what she’s done for me than by working for her and doing anything she wants! So my plan for now is to just try my hardest to convince her why I would be an amazing worker and how willing I am to relocate to California immediately! Her show is just such a happy environment, and I know I have a lot I could contribute, and I could really benefit from it, too! So if you all want to help me out and send this post to Ellen, you would be my best friends even more than you already are Smile <3 Oh, and Ellen: I promise I will be able to control myself the next time we meet.

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Okay, so that hug literally happened within the first 2 minutes of the show. It’s safe to say that I was in a complete daze the rest of the taping and really have no idea what happened. I do know at one point some guy grabbed me and had me dance in the aisle with him and I also know I was given a t-shirt “because Ellen talked to me”, which made me cry all over again when the worker told me that. I know I had an absolute blast and smiled/cried the whole time. I also know the guests were Matthew Perry, The Band Perry, Paula Patton, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who were all super adorable! I just was still in shock over what happened, so it was nice to watch the episode back when I got home and see what actually went on!

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I cried again when we had to leave the studio, surprise surprise. Luckily Luke wanted me to not cry anymore and decided to take me to Universal Studios CityWalk for dinner. We walked around for a while and then had dinner at Bubba Gump’s, where I had a delicious fruit and avocado salad. Weirdly, I had no appetite the entire trip and barely ate anything, even though I had a ton of delicious food in front of me. I was so excited and nervous and just had way too many emotions to even think about food. During dinner Jay Leno was taping right next to our table, which was pretty cool! However, I just wanted to be sitting there with Ellen and Portia having a drink, so I couldn’t even enjoy it. We did have a super cute waitress who shared in my Ellen excitement with me, which I greatly appreciated.

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We rocked out to the Band Perry CD on the way back to the hotel and were in bed by 8:30 and slept for 10 hours. We are partiers. However, the day went more perfectly than I could have ever dreamed, so thank you thank you thank you to everyone who helped to make it that way!! Including Luke, everyone at Frontier Airlines, our car rental place, the Radisson LA, everyone at Warner Bros., our cute waitress, and of course, Ellen <3 <3

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I have a ton more to tell you about our trip from Thursday & Friday (including my reaction to seeing Ellen & I on TV….although I really didn’t want it to air that much; I just wanted to hug her again and get a job), but I will save that for tomorrow since this post is already super long! So check back tomorrow for that, and thanks so much for taking time out of your busy days to read this. I missed you guys!! <3

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Tell me something I’ve missed about you from being gone the past few days!